Currently Listening Lateralus By Tool Schism see related

yes i'm updating, isn't that awesome since i haven't updated since january.

Not really much to talk about other than this school year is finally coming to an end, i'm going to be starting up my co-op job again, and i hope my exams go well.

Hanging out with my pledge brother's last night was awesome, always a good time with those guys.  Especially my first frame of trying to bowl for the first time in about 2 years. then we went to stake and shake.  Good times and i hope we can have more over the summer, i know i'm up for it and so is will so lets do it guys.

Now i'm sure all of you are waiting for me to start talking about the big issue that's happened in my life....  I'm sure that's she's already moved on from me because everything i know is my fault and i wish that she would forgive me for everything and give me a final chance but i know that it is too late for that now.  I know i could make everything right if i had one last chance but it's like it doesn't matter that i sought help for my problem and was making changes of my self to be the person i want to be.  I've always been a social person and i was missing that person, and it was my own fears and self problems that caused me to lose the person i once was.  While i know several people probably think i "instantly" changed just to try and get her back, that is not the truth.  I realized i had a problem around the end of april beginning of may, and i went to the library and got some information to help me learn how to get over my fear of being social and how to control my jealousy, it just took time to make progress with that information.  And i kept the fact that i sought this help, from the person that it mattered to the most because i was ashamed that i couldn't fix it on my own.  But i admit i had a problem, and that problem is no longer there. I thought i was making progress about two weeks ago and things were getting better and i was blindsided by all of this.  But through all of this i'm not going to let this break me down, i will still be waiting for my final chance to show i've changed and am no longer the person i was 2-3 months ago when my jealousy really started taking ahold of me.  I've been going out and having fun just like i was hoping i could have been doing with her but it was too little too late for me to change and now i've lost her and feel like forever, and yes i understand that by talking about this on xanga and her probably reading it isn't helping anything but i want everyone to know my side of all of this.  I understand that my jealousy basically pushed her away into the arms of another and so again this becomes my fault.  I just wish I could show her that I'm the person she first started liking, I want to be with friends and go out and have fun with people.  My relationship before her i left because i hated the person it was making me.  Now that i'm sure all of you are tired of reading this i'm going to stop so that i can start getting ready to go to a party. 

"I know the pieces fit cuz I watched them fall away
mildewed and smoldering, fundamental differing,
pure intention juxtaposed will set two lovers souls in motion
disintegrating as it goes testing our communication
the light that fueled our fire then has burned a hole between us so
we cannot see to reach an end crippling our communication.

I know the pieces fit cuz I watched them tumble down
no fault, none to blame it doesn't mean I don't desire to
point the finger, blame the other, watch the temple topple over.
To bring the pieces back together, rediscover communication.

The poetry that comes from the squaring off between,
And the circling is worth it.
Finding beauty in the dissonance.

There was a time that the pieces fit, but I watched them fall away.
Mildewed and smoldering, strangled by our coveting
I've done the the math enough to know the dangers of a second guessing
Doomed to crumble unless we grow, and strengthen our communication

cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any sense of compassion

between supposed lovers
between supposed brothers.

And I know the pieces fit." - Tool

Currently Listening Still Not Getting Any... By Simple Plan Untitled see related

UPDATE!!!!

Yes, I know I suck at updating but oh well. 

Things between Karamae and I are going extremely well, I love her so much.  Started back on my co-op with Cinergy after school let out for Christmas, making a lot of money is good!  Hmmmm so..... yeah......

I've been hanging out with my brothers more, that's always been fun.  I love those guys.

hmmmm.....

Got some cool software from a guy at work that let's me make backup copies of my DVDs so that if I loan them to people i don't have to give them the actual DVD.  Which is cool stuff, I'll show it to you if you ask.

Hmmmm.....

I got a NEW CELL PHONE!!!!! My crappy piece of shit is no longer in my possession! I have a camera phone! YAY I donated mine to some organization with verizon that i think gives them to battered women and children or something like that, i just figured that i had no more use for it so i'd give it to them.

Hmmmm.....

I'm a lvl 32 Shadow Priest Night Elf in World of Warcraft on Skullchrusher server.

Hmmmm.....

I think that's it.

Currently Listening Still Not Getting Any... By Simple Plan Shut up see related

So yeah, I suck at updating.

A lot has happened since my last post.  Went to the 3 Doors Down Concert at Riverbend with Karamae which was awesome, but just a little cold.  YAY for outside venues! Bengals are actually having a winning season! Who-Dey!  Bearcats are at .500 which is pretty good in their new conference, 2 more wins and I might be going to another bowl game..... Hawaii? What? **cough, cough**Texas  ANYWAYS.

Went to P&P this Friday, i'm the greatest pimp ever. Apparently the cops were called after we left.  Hmmm saturday slept in until about noon or so, greatest sleepage ever. Then hung out with Karamae the rest of the day, then got to go work at my old nemisis KI AAAAAHHH but i got to work in games so it was different than what i worked in 2 years ago.  They gave me a microphone, mwahahahaha.

Sunday went to KI with Karamae to ride rides and stuff before the Simple Plan concert. Great day, great concert, awesome girlfriend.

Upcoming events: Bearcat Basketball (the day nancy zimpher realizes she's retarded for getting rid of huggins) Last football game against West Virginia (going to get our asses kicked) and soon winter break. YAY.

Currently Listening Home By Blessid Union of Souls I Believe see related

So school has started, YAY SCHOOL.  Classes shouldn't be too bad, the only one that might give me difficulty is Programming SQL servers but i'm sure i'll do fine just like i always do.  This will be the quarter though, i'm shooting for a 4.0 GPA for this quarter.  Wish me luck on that.  Still working part time at my co-op, gotta love money.  28 hours a week right now, which i know doesn't sound like a lot but my hours are sparatic. Going to work then to classes then back to work, then on some days band right after work. But as busy as I sound there's still time to do homework.

For those of you not in the UC Band there has been a new development in my life.  If you wish to know more talk to me on AIM.

YATOTIL